Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Happiness is temporary. Always. It's defined by circumstances and your state of mind. Remember that it's ok to be sad and empty, on occasion. It's part of life.

A constant happiness, or should I say joy, is the constant assurance that you are on your way to something better, that you are growing in life.

Happiness does not mean forever.

Joy is constant improvement. Constant change.

The meaning of life is the pursuit of that meaning.

Written by a 15 y/o,  Nate. 

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

How To Be More Charismatic

Some people instantly make us feel important. Some people instantly make us feel special. Some people light up a room just by walking in.
We can't always define it, but some people have "it" — they're naturally charismatic.
Unfortunately, natural charisma quickly loses its impact. Familiarity breeds, well, familiarity.
But some people have the ability to maintain real charisma over time. They build and maintain great relationships, positively influence the people around them, and consistently make people feel better about themselves. They're the kind of people everyone wants to be around … and wants to be.
Fortunately we can all be more charismatic, because charisma isn't about our level of success, or our presentation skills, or how we dress, or the image we project — charisma is about what we do.
Here are ways you can be more charismatic:

1. Listen way more than you talk.

Ask questions. Maintain eye contact. Smile. Frown. Nod. Respond — not so much verbally, but nonverbally.
That's all it takes to show the other person they're important.
Then when you do speak, don't offer advice unless you're asked. Listening shows you care a lot more than offering advice, because when you offer advice in most cases you make the conversation about you, not them.
Don't believe me? Who is, "Here's what I would do …" about: you, or the other person?
Only speak when you have something important to say — and always define important as what matters to the other person, not to you.

2. Don't practice selective hearing.

Some people — I guarantee you know a few like this — are incapable of hearing anything said by the people they feel are somehow beneath them.
Sure, you speak to them, but that particular falling tree doesn't make a sound in the forest, because there's no one actually listening.
Incredibly charismatic people listen closely to everyone, and they make all of us, regardless of our position or social status or "level," feel like we have something in common with them.
Because we do.

3. Always put your stuff away.

Don't check your phone. Don't glance at your monitor. Don't focus on anything else, even for a moment.
You can never connect with others if you're busy connecting with your stuff, too.
Give the gift of full attention. That's a gift few people give. That gift alone will make others want to be around you and remember you.

4. Always give before you receive — knowing you may never receive.

Never think about what you can get. Focus on what you can provide. Giving is the only way to establish a real connection and relationship.
Focus, even in part and even for a moment, on what you can get out of the other person, and you show that the only person who really matters is you.
Just give. Be remarkably giving. Don't worry about whether you will someday receive.

5. Don't act self-important …

The only people who are impressed by your stuffy, pretentious, self-important persona are other stuffy, pretentious, self-important people.
The rest of us aren't impressed. We're irritated, put off, and uncomfortable.
And we aren't too thrilled when you walk in the room.

6. … Since you know other people are more important.

You already know what you know. You know your opinions. You know your perspective and point of view.
That stuff isn't important, because it's already yours. You can't learn anything from yourself.
But you don't know what other people know, and everyone, no matter who they are, knows things you don't know.
That automatically makes them a lot more important than us because they're people we can learn from.

7. Shine the spotlight on others.

No one receives enough praise. No one. Tell people what they did well.
Wait, you say you don't know what they did well?
Shame on you — it's your job to know. It's your job to find out ahead of time.
Not only will people appreciate your praise, they'll appreciate the fact you care enough to pay attention to what they do.
And they will feel a little more accomplished — and a lot more important.

8. Choose your attitude — and your words.

The words you use affect the attitude of others — and they affect you.
For example, you don't have to go to a meeting; you get to go meet with other people. You don't have to create a presentation for a new client; you get to share cool stuff with other people. You don't have to go to the gym; you get to work out and improve your health and fitness.
You don't have to interview job candidates; you get to select a great person to join your team.
We all want to associate with happy, enthusiastic, fulfilled people. The approach you take and the words you choose can help other people feel better about themselves — and make you feel better about yourself, too.

9. Don't discuss the failings of others …

Granted, we all like hearing a little gossip. We all like hearing a little dirt.
The problem is, we don't necessarily like — and we definitely don't respect — the people who dish that dirt.
Don't laugh at other people. When you do, the people around you wonder if you sometimes laugh at them.

10. … But readily admit your own failings.

Incredibly successful people are often assumed to have charisma simply because they are successful — their success can seem to create a halo effect, almost like a glow.
The key word is "seem."
You don't have to be incredibly successful to be extremely charismatic. Scratch the shiny surface, and many successful people have the charisma of a rock.
But you do have to be incredibly genuine to be extremely charismatic.
Be humble. Share your screwups. Admit your mistakes and be the lesson learned.
And definitely laugh at yourself. When you do, other people won't laugh at you. They'll laugh with you.
And they'll like you better for it … and want to be around you a lot more.

12 Rules of Life

Be really good to your family and friends, you never  know when you're going to need them to empty your bed pan.

Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours, so enjoy it while you have it.

Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.
It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now ? How about one month ? One week ? One day ?

If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are
"I apologize" and "You are right".

You only need two tools, WD-40 and Duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.  If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.

Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

21 Suggestions for Success by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4. Become the positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5. Be forgiving of youself and others.

6. Be Generous

7. Have a grateful heart.

8. Pesistance, persistance, persistance.

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10. Treat everyone you meeet like you want to be treated.

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12. Commit your to quality.

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14. Be Loyal.

15. Be Honest.

16. Be a self starter.

17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

20. Take good care of those you love.

21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

The Joy of Giving

The lesson we have to learn over and over !
Today our lesson is designed to keep our self respect.

People all over the world, the thing that makes them the happiest is "Giving".
But in the way that a child feeds a hungry duck. With no expectations of anything in return.

So often we feel we need to get something back in return. And that is OK, but when you give with that intention, we need to make that clear to the other person, or you are setting yourself up for disappointment and resentment. It would be better not to give at all and spare your friends your bitter feelings, and the guilt and burden of having to replace or figure out what exactly you expect in return. That is not really giving, and we must see the difference if we are to experience the real joy in this simple act.

Who could enjoy receiving a gift that is coming from a person expecting something back, rather than from a a place of happiness and love ? It isn't a gift at all, and it doesn't really feel very good. To really experience the joy of giving and receiving, it has to come with love, and the release of that tension and dynamic of reciprocation.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Wear your Seat Belt

What are you thinking ? Wear the damn seat belt ! And get off the phone, nobody cares what you have to say anyway.

Monday, August 01, 2005

You Choose, Being Right or Being Loved ?

You can't have both ! When we try to be right, we are making the other person wrong. Will that make you loved ? No ! Being right all the time can be heard as arrogance and drives out loving feelings and affection. Being right is second nature to most people. We strive to be right about things. But how important can these things be that we are willing to trade being loved by those we care about most ? That is a very high price to pay for our egos and our Pride.
Will it matter a week from now ? A day ? Being quiet and less eager to correct others will allow you to just be. Perhaps what we need is to become Humble.
You only think you know it all. Who could love a know it all ? You Choose.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Divide and Conquer

Any problem can be overcome by breaking it down into smaller more manageable tasks. First, make a list of several distinct steps to complete the objective, then thoroughly and with no mistakes, accomplish each step. Visualize the parts coming together and producing the desired result.